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7/23/06
I want to be truthful. (Mouse Over)

Dear Kim,

The other day my sister called to tell me something and in the course of the conversation, she said "You have no idea but . . . ''

At another point she said, "I know it is hard to imagine but . . . "

She didn't just say these things once. She said them several times.

So I said, "I think you're right. I can't really know how you feel about Mom when you live in the same city and are so close. But I think I have some idea of how you must be feeling.

(Kim: I don't think we ever can see the world through someone else's eyes, nor can we imagine what it is like to walk in their shoes. What amazes me is how we so quickly forget what it feels like to be poor, to be lonely, to be abused, and to be sick.)

Do you know you say, "you have no idea or you can't imagine a lot?'"

She said she didn't know that she did that but that it was just a figure of speech.

I said—and said gently—it isn't just a figure of speech. It indicates a state of mind. And that her state of mind didn't believe that someone could imagine or empathize with her.

I also said, I am not being critical. You should say whatever you want. I just want to put that out.

And she said, as she often does, "I didn't realize that. You always see things that no one else does, Joanie. You are so interesting."

I don't know that I want to be interesting. I want to be truthful and I want us all to see the ways we block ourselves.

(Kim: I'm generally distrustful when people say they are being truthful. There are so many levels of the truth, and so many things to be truthful about.

When William Glasser wrote that the only person whose behavior we can control is our own and that all we can give another person is information I think he should have mentioned that the information is just the world as they see it at a particular moment, and that it has no relationship to truth.

I'm not sure how one stops blocking themselves from realizing their potential. I'm not sure that seeing how we block ourselves is answer. I believe you'd probably agree with that.)

Later,

Joan

Thursday, Feb 2, 2006

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